Free Play or School Desk at Age Six?
Kindergarten or School?
Every parent wants their child to start school well-prepared. However, school readiness has several requirements, such as good overall health, well-developed cognitive abilities, motor skills, and adequate social maturity. The importance of the latter is often overlooked because if a child is physically well-developed, can recite a short poem, draw well, count confidently up to 10 or 20, knows the letters, and can even write their first name, parents might think their child is fully ready for school.
However, the presence of sufficient social maturity is extremely important for a child starting school.
Leaving the protected world of kindergarten, the child finds themselves in a completely new environment filled with challenges, rules, tasks, and social relationships. We might think that the latter is not that important and that it will develop naturally, but underdeveloped social skills can greatly hinder successful school work, even if the child has well-developed cognitive functions.
In light of this, every January, parents whose children turn 6 by August 31st face a big decision, as since 2020, they have the right to request a one-year school delay from the Educational Authority.
For children who turn 6 by August 31, 2025, the deadline for this request is January 18, 2025.
Before making such a decision, several questions arise. What is the best choice? Should the child stay in kindergarten for one more year, or should they go to school? Are there any advantages to starting school at the age of 6? Or does it benefit the child more to spend one more year in kindergarten, mostly playing freely, for further development?
Kindergarten plays a very significant role in a child's social development.
Together with the family environment, it is here that the child learns to accept other people, life situations, and rules, and to adapt to them, which is to understand the dynamics of social environments. This socialization process has its most important setting and tool in free play up until the age of 6-7. Unfortunately, due to trends observed in recent years, the focus has significantly shifted from the importance of free play to organized activities. While both are important, they serve different purposes in the development process of a child's abilities.
But why is free play so crucial?
Because, unlike directed and externally controlled activities, free play is initiated by an internal impulse, driven by natural curiosity and the innate desire to explore, providing an opportunity for joyful experiences.
Who wouldn't light up at the mention of play? Who doesn't enjoy playing freely, whether as an adult or child, depending on their mood or interests? Surely, you can fondly remember times when you played with dolls, pirates, or other imaginative games during your kindergarten or early school years. The same applies to children today, although the themes of their games have evolved somewhat.
Many people associate learning with memorizing at a school desk, but learning actually begins during fetal development and continues throughout life. We are constantly learning about the world around us and our role in it. Kindergarten's free play is one of the most important contexts for this interactive learning and development process. It not only helps develop cognitive and motor functions but also builds the child's social relationships.
One could argue that children can also play during breaks at school. That's true.
However, the amount of time available for free play at school is significantly less than in kindergarten.
It is important to note that in kindergarten, this play occurs not between tests, tightly scheduled activities, and afternoon lessons, but in a calm environment, with rest periods after lunch, giving the child the space and opportunity to engage in play.
The Experience-Focused Nature of Free Play
Free play takes place in a real space and time, free from screens and blue light, involving real characters, tangible and visible objects, perceptible smells, and sounds, allowing the child to experience the emotions of others and engage in interactive emotional expressions.
This is the real 3D experience!
The only limit to play is the child's imagination and creativity. The child becomes actively involved in bringing to life the story that they have imagined, whether it is a familiar fairy tale or a completely original fantasy. This might involve re-enacting a known story or creating new ones. Children come up with the games, they direct them, and they act in them. They voluntarily place themselves in situations where they encounter their own and others' feelings, taking responsibility for the consequences, thus experiencing their impact on the outside world.
The key is that they play voluntarily with the theme that engages and interests them, making the action completely individualized and customized, meaning it is self-development.
The effectiveness is increased because the child does it willingly, driven by their own will.
The Complex Personality-Development Impact of Free Play
The developmental effects of free play on a child's individuality are undeniable. In addition to developing cognitive and motor functions required for school, it helps in areas that are essential for smooth social interactions.
It can reduce anxiety and help process external stimuli. The child can process experienced events by re-enacting them repeatedly, experiencing their feelings, expressing and formulating thoughts about them, while finding new solutions, closures, or answers to a given issue.
It prepares them for adult life by shaping their self-image and self-awareness, as children often mimic the adult world. They may explore multiple ways to solve a problem, developing decision-making skills and judgment. They can clash opinions, thoughts, and feelings with minimal risk, draw conclusions, and see the situation from new perspectives, aiding in understanding their feelings and recognizing their role in it.
Their emotional intelligence also grows, as they become more open, accepting, and empathetic toward others. Through sensitivity, they learn how to behave in various tense or conflict situations, how to support those in need, sometimes putting the needs of others before their own.
The instinctive, self-directed desire to explore and play builds both physical and mental experiences. This helps to increase the child's self-confidence, as they experience being able to achieve results on their own, at their own pace and level.
Their horizons widen, they discover their strengths, and learn the significance of resilience and rule-following.
Why are these abilities important at school?
For a child to have an enjoyable and not a failure-filled 7-8 hours at school, they must meet the rules of social life. The transition from kindergarten to school is a significant challenge, both physically, mentally, and emotionally for the child, as they encounter new expectations. They need to understand that things won't always be centered around them; they must wait their turn to speak or ask questions. They must accept that things won't always go according to their wishes. They can't wander around during lessons and must follow the rules and accept adult guidance. They need to know that even if a task doesn't go perfectly the first time, it's not the end of the world.
Being part of a school class means taking into account the expectations of the community, following social rules, handling their emotions, and conflicts appropriately. They must communicate well with teachers and peers, understanding that the teacher is no longer the "caregiver" from kindergarten.
The Consequences of Social Immaturity
The emotional and psychological challenges can be overwhelming for a socially and emotionally unprepared child, no matter how knowledgeable and well-informed they are. A child who constantly interrupts during class, gets up and walks around, or acts out because they don't want to focus on the task, has not yet developed task responsibility. If they constantly seek the teacher's attention because they feel more comfortable with adults, they are emotionally unprepared for the switch. A child who is aggressive, immature, reclusive, or prefers to play alone, or constantly talks during class, might indicate a weak nervous system and/or undeveloped social skills.
The consequences of these difficulties vary from child to child, but psychosomatic symptoms can often be observed.
There may be headaches on Sunday evenings, stomach aches on Monday mornings, and unnecessary crying.
Sleep disturbances, bedwetting, anxiety, lack of appetite, or unusual eating binges may occur. The previously cheerful and outgoing child may suddenly become withdrawn. These symptoms can vary widely, so they may not be taken seriously. However, the sooner the child gets help, the sooner the tensions leading to setbacks can be resolved.
Now, should they go or stay?
The answer to the earlier question is that it is not a loss, but rather beneficial for a 6-year-old to spend one more year in kindergarten to socialize. Phrases like "they'll catch up," "they'll catch up later," or "they'll eventually get there" are rarely heard from professionals when it comes to a 6-year-old first grader. If we expect this, the child is already at a disadvantage when starting school.
Expectations gradually increase, and individual adjustments are not always made.
It may seem like they are keeping up at first, but soon enough, a series of failures will follow. The child may see that others are overcoming challenges more easily and become aware of their own performance. It's not uncommon for problems to emerge in the 3rd or 5th grade, as compensatory strategies may initially mask the issues. But sooner or later, these underlying difficulties will show up.
By the time the child is 9 or 10 years old, addressing these deficits and developing their skills will require significantly more time and energy, as many developmental milestones may have already passed.
What does an additional year or even half a year mean for your 6-year-old?
It is one-sixth of their current life. How long is one-sixth of your life right now—5, 6, or 7 years? Think about how much you've grown and learned in that time, how much you've changed for the better. What experiences have you gained that you could then apply and integrate into your life? This works similarly for a 6-year-old, but they experience everything much more intensely and learn more quickly.
If they can do this in a calm, supportive environment, with plenty of successful experiences, it can significantly accelerate their individual development process.
What can we do?
I believe that we should never wait for the child to show symptoms of the issues mentioned above.
As with everything, prevention is key.
I recommend consulting the kindergarten teacher or a specialist at the slightest sign or suspicion in a 5-year-old. Sometimes children behave differently at home than at kindergarten. In these cases, it's essential to talk about the reasons for this. Although parents know their children best, don't hesitate to seek help from external experts (special educators, educational psychologists, etc.), as they have the knowledge and tools to help parents address concerns and clear up misunderstandings. They can identify early signs that might go unnoticed and can develop an individualized developmental plan for the child.
If you feel that you or your child need professional advice or assistance, feel free to reach out to me. Every inquiry is followed by an online or in-person consultation, during which we will get to know each other so that I can gain a comprehensive understanding of you and your child. If you already have an expert opinion, I will review it before the consultation. If you are still in the phase of intuition or suspicion, I will also help answer any questions that arise. Based on the information provided, I will offer recommendations regarding any further steps to take.
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